The New Yorker in Tondo

A satirical play written by Marcelino Agana Jr.

"New Yorker in Tondo" is a classic Filipino Play by Marcelino Agana, Jr. It is a satire written in the 50's. It is a story about a girl named Kikay who goes to New York and fell in love with it. She acquires all the New Yorkish things - style, looks, language and manners. These things are very obvious when she arrives in the Philippines specifically in Tondo.

Aling Atang, mother of Kikay, has been carried away by her daughters way of living. She tries to converse with everybody in broken English.

Tony, childhood sweetheart of Kikay, decides to visit and catch things up with her friend. He is a simple guy who got secretly engaged with their other childhood friend, Nena.

Nena is a tomboyish type of girl. On her visit in Kikay's house, she finds her friend different and weird. She gets irritated and even imitates Kikay's ways.

Totoy, the Tondo "canto boy" is their other friend who is funny and has a secret love for Nenan which has only been revealded when the two females had a clash.

Near the end, the secret love of the characters in the story is revealded. And the two pairs end up in each other's arms. Kikay is back to her old self -- simple and kind. Most of all, the Filipino value learned by the protagonist which is "there is no place like home", is a lesson on love of country and its culture.

Link: http://ajgv02ls.multiply.com/reviews/item/1

 Full Script

The New Yorker in Tondo

In New York
Kikay	(Kikay is reading a letter from her Mother with Honey and Arlene ) Dear Kikay, I miss you na, and super like to be see of your view. Because it’s very sad here in Tondo, please go home na, coz I am very lonely. Love, Your mommy dear, Atang.
	I told her to call herself Mrs. Mendoza! Oh well, I needed to go back to Tondo!
Marissa	(Enters) Tondo? Why are you going there?  (Going to a book shelf and scribble one thick book)
Arianne	(Enters) Too bad, I’m gonna miss you, Darling!
Kikay	I know, imagine dati, I’m just a newbie who wants to study Hair Culture and Beauty Science, Then, now, I’m going back na…
Jamie	Whaaat? Who’s going back to their stupid country?
Kikay	Me…
Jamie	You? OMG! It’s super stupidity!
Kikay	I know.. And surely, I’ll be the hottest girl there…
Arianne	Isn’t Tondo too hot for you?
Marissa	Hey Francesca, Look at this! This says, Tondo is established with a church, but the church is famous for its bangketa or a cheaper bazaar.
Arlene	Hmm… It is very unusual for you to go there…
Kikay	I know, And I don’t think you could survive…
Honey	So, is this a goodbye for the OFW’ees?
Kikay	No, I’m not gonna stay there, as if. I don’t like it there.
Jamie	But before you go, let’s have a bye bye bye….
Honey	Bye Bye Party!
Marissa	Of course, what were we gonna do here? Stay and bathe in tears?
Kikay	You really love me guys!
Arlene	And we love you, too, right, guys?
Arianne	So, let’s start the party? (Pushes Casette Button ; Plays HOT N’ COLD by Katy Perry)
The song continues and Lights Dim, then on again… The song becames louder and plays for 15 seconds. The stage is still empty until Mrs. Mendoza comes in, dress in leggings and off shoulder dress, high heels and a crazy hair cut. She carries a big bag full of make ups and stuffs.
Mrs. M	(Shouting by window) Aling Ising, Aling Ising, maawa naman kayo sa mga kapitbahay ninyo! Nagmula sa alas sinco ng umaga hanggang hatinggabi wala na kayong tinugotg kung hindi iyang demonyong plakang iyan!...Maski naman gaano kaganda niyang damuhong Hot N’ Cold na iyan ay pinagsasawaan din… Aling Ising! Huuuy! Aba, mga bingi yata ito a… Tama na iyang Hot N’ Cold na iyan… kung hindi babasagin ko sa mga mukha ninyo iyan. Mariosep! (Stops music) (A knock is heard) (As she walks toward the door) Visitors. always visitors, nothing but visitors all day long. Naku, I’m beginning to feel like a society mah-tron.
	(She opens door. Tony steps in, carrying a bouqet. Tony is 26, dressed to kill, and is suave type. Right now, however, he is feeling a trifle nervous. He starts slightly on seeing Mrs. Mendoza.)
mrs. m	Tony! I thought you were in the province.
tony	(Staring) But is that you, Aling Atang?
mrs. m	(Laughing) Of course, it’s I , foolish boy. Who did you think it was... Carmen Rosales?
tony	You... you don’t look like Aling Atang.
mrs. m	(Shyly touching her hair) I had my haircut. Do I look so horrible?
Tony	Oh, no,no... you look just wonderful, aling atang. For a moment I thought you were your own daughter. I thought you were Kikay.
mrs. m	(Playfully slapping his cheek) Oh, you are so palikero as ever, tony. But come in, come. (She moves toward furniture and Tony follows.) Here, have a seat. How is your mother?
tony	(As he sits down, still holding bouqet) Oh, poor mother is terribly homesick for Tondo, Aling Atang. She wants to come back here at once.
mrs. m	(Standing beside his chair, putting an apron) How long have you been away?
tony	Only Three months.
mrs. m	Only three months? Three months is too long for Tondenia to be away from Tondo. Aie, my poor kumare, how bored she must be out there!
tony	Well, Aling Atang, you know how it is for us engineers. We must go where our job calls us. But as soon as I have finished with that bridge in Bulacan, mother and I are going back to Tondo.
mrs. m	Yes, you must bring her back as soon as possible. We miss her whenever we play panguinge.
tony	(Laughing) That is what she misses of all.
mrs. m	Now I understand what she feels! Your mother can never, neve rbecome a provinciana, Tony. Once a Tondenia, always a Tondenia, I always say. (She pauses, struck by thought) But I wonder if that’s true after all. Look at my Kikay ; she was there in America for a whole year, and she says that she never felt homesick at all!
tony	(Becoming to look nervous again) When... when did Kikay arrive, Aling Atang?
mrs. m	Last Monday.
tony	I didn’t know she had come until I read about it in the newspapers.
mrs. m	(Plaintively) That girl only arrived last Monday and look what has happened to me! When she first saw me, she was furious. She said that I needed a complete overhauling. She dragged me off to the beauty parlor, and look what she has done to me!  My hair was cut, eyebrows shaved, nails manicured. And when I’m going to the market, I used lipstick! All my kumare are laughing. People think I’m a...a...what you call that again? ... loose woman. And at my age too! But what can I do. You know how impossible it is to argue with Kikay. And she says that I must learn how to look and act like an Americana because I have a daughter who has been to America. Dios mio, do I look like an American?
tony	(Too worried to pay much attention) You look just wonderful Aling Atang. And... and where is she now?
mrs. m	(Who’s rather engrossed in her troubles too) Who?
tony	Kikay? Is she at home?
mrs. m	Of course, she is at home! She’s still sleeping.
tony	(Glancing at his watch) Still sleeping!
mrs. m	She says that in New York people do not wake up before Twelve o’clock noon.
tony	(Glancing at his watch once more) It’s only Ten O’clock now!
mrs. m	Besides, she has been very, very busy. Uy, the life of that giurl since she came home! Welcome parties here and welcome parties there, and visitors all day long! That girl has been spinning around like top!
Tony	(Rising disconsolately) Well, will you just tell her I called... to welcome her home. Oh, and will you please give her these flowers?
mrs. m	(Taking flowers) But surely, you’re not going yet, Tony?
tony	I want to see Kikay, Aling Atang, but if she doesn’t get up until twelve noon...
mrs. m	(Firmly) She’s going to get up right now and see you, Tony. Why, you and she grew up together! Sit right down again, Tony... I will go and wake her up.
tony	Oh, please don’t bother, Aling Atang. I can come back some other time.
mrs. m	(Moving Away) You wait right there, Tony. She’ll be simply delighted to see her old childhood friend. And she’ll want to thank you in person for these flowers. How beautiful they are Tony... How expensive they must be!
Tony	(Sitting down again) Oh, they’re nothing at all, Aling Atang.
mrs. m	(Pausing already at center doorway) Oh, Tony...
tony	Yes, Aling Atang?
mrs. m	You must not call me “Aling Atang”
tony	Why not?
mrs. m	Kikay doesn’t like it. She says I must tell people to call me Mrs. Mendoza. She says it is more civilized form of address. So... especially in front of Kikay... you must call me, Mrs. Mendoza.
tony	Yes, Aling...I mean, yes, Mrs. Mendoza.
mrs. m	(Turning to go) Well, wait just a minute and I’ll call Kikay.
tony	(To himself as he sits down) Hah!
Mrs. m	(Turning again) Oh and Tony...
Tony	(Jumping up again) Yes, Aling... I mean, yes, Mrs. Mendoza?
mrs. m	You must not call Kikay “Kikay”
Tony	(Blankly) And what shall I call her?
mrs. m	You must call her Francesca.
tony	Francisca?
Mrs. m	Not Francisca... Fran-Ces-Ca.
tony	But why Francesca?
mrs. m	She says that in New York , she says that’s the way they pronounce he name, it sounds like “chi-chi” so Italian, be sure to call her Francesca and not Kikay. Oh, how she hates that name!
Tony	(Limply sitting down again) Yes, Mrs. Mendoza
mrs. m	(Turning to go again) Now, wait right here while I call Francesca…. (Someone’s knocking at the door. She turns around again.) AIE DIOSMIO!!!
tony	(Jumping up once again)Never mind Mrs. Mendoza, I’ll answer it. (He goes to open the door.)
mrs. m	(as she exits) Just tell them to wait, Tony.
	Tony opens door and Totoy steps in. Totoy is the same age as Tony. Both boys do their secret handshake.)
Totoy	(Arms extending to hug Tony) Tony!
tony	Totoy! (Then they pund each other in the bellies)
Totoy	You old son of your father!
Tony	You big carabao!
Totoy	Mayroon ba tayo dyan?
Tony	You ask me that… and you look like a walking goldmine! How many depots have you been looting, huh!!??
Totoy	Hey hey!! More slowly there.. It is you the police are looking for.
Tony	Impossible! I’m a reformed character!
Totoy	(As, arms around each other’s shoulders, they march across the room.) Make way for the Tondo boys... Bang! Bang!
Tony	(Pushing Totoy away and producing a package of cigarettes) Good to see you old pal.. Here, have a smoke.
Totoy	I thought you were in Bulacan, partner.
Tony	I am. I just came to say hello to Kikay.
Totoy	Tony. I’ve been hearing the most frightful things about that girl.
tony	(Sinking into chair) So have I.
totoy	(Sitting down, too) People say she has gone crazy.
tony	No, she has only gone New York .
totoy	What was she doing in New York anyway?
tony	Oh, studying.
totoy	Studying what?
tony	Hair culture and Beauty Science. She got a diploma.
totoy	Imagine that! Our dear old Kikay!
tony	Pardon me, she's not Kikay anymore,.. She's Fran-CeS-ca..
totoy	Fran-CeS-ca??
tony	Miss Tondo has become Miss New York. Our dear Kikay is now an American.
totoy	Don’t make me laugh! Why I knew that girl when she’s still selling rice cakes.. (Stands up and Imitates a girl Puto Vendor) Puto kayo dyan!! Bili na kayo ng puto mga suki!!
tony	(Laughing) Remember when we pushed her into the canal?
totoy	She chased us around the streets.
tony	She was dripping with mud!
totoy	Naku! How that girl could fight!
tony	(Fondly)  Dear Old Kikay!
	(Knocking at door.) Totoy goes to open it. Enters Nena. Nena is a pretty young lady of 24)
nena	Why, it’s Totoy!
totoy	Nena, my own.
nena	(Brushing him aside as she walks into the room) And Tony, too.. What’s all this? A Canto Boy Reunion ?
tony	(following behind her) We have come to greet the Lady from New York .
nena	So have I. Is she at home?
tony	Aling Atang is trying to wake her up.
nena	To wake her up?! Is she still sleeping??
mrs. m	(Appearing) No, she’s awake already. She's dressing. Good morning Nena and Totoy. (Totoy and Nena are staring speechless. Mrs. Mendoza is carrying a vase in which she has arranged Tony’s flowers. She self-conciously walks into room and sets the vase on the table amidst a silence broken only by Totoy’s helpless whistle)
mrs. m	(Having set vase at the table) Well, Totoy? Nena? Why are you staring me like that?
nena	Is that you Aling Atang?
totoy	Naka! It is Aling Atang! (He collapses into chair)
Tony	To inform you, she now prefers to be called Mrs. Mendoza.
Mrs.M Nena	Oh, Tony! It is not I but Kikay who prefers it. She was delighted with these flowers. Nena, If you don’t stop gazing at me like that I will pinch you hard! When we were children you always used to do that to us...
Mrs. M	And I can do it yet, aba, kasi... you were always naughty when you were children, all of you... especially this one... (indicating totoy)... this botarete ... (totoy laughs)... Always going into our backyard to steal our mangoes.
Totoy	Is that Mango tree still there, aling Atang?
Mrs. M	Natural!
Totoy	Come on Nena, Let’s steal some Mangoes...
Mrs. M	Oy, oy no stealing of mangoes! Besides, if you do, I’ll chase you like I used to do... and I’ll take your pants off...
Totoy	Aba, I’m big now, baka magulat po kayo... and besides, I wear suspenders..hehe...
Mrs. M	Oy, oy halika nga. You come with me to the kitchen.
Totoy	To take my pants off?
Mrs. M	Talagang salbahe ito, ah! I want you to help me prepare something.
Nena	Oh never mind, Aling Atang, don’t prepare anything for us.
Mrs. M	Oh, It is Just some orange juice. You see, Kikay ... I mean Fran-Ces-ca, always tell me that in New York they don’t eat breakfast they just drink Orange juice so... come on, Totoy.
Totoy	Arya, Kumara!
Nena	(Exits Mrs. Mendoza and Totoy ; Tony and Nena are silent for a moment.) Well, Tony?
Tony	You shouldn’t have come today, Nena
Nena	Oh, why not?
Tony	I haven’t talked with Kikay Yet.
Nena	You haven’t talked with Kikay Yet? But I thought you were coming here to tell her everything last night!
Tony	I lost my nerve, I didn’t come last night.
Nena	Oh tony, Tony!
Tony	(Irritated, Imitating her tone) Oh, Tony, tony ... use your head, Nena. Whoever heard of a man breaking off his engagement just like that! It’s not easy!
Nena	Are you inlove with Kikay or with me?
Tony	Of course I’m in love with you. I’m engaged to you.
Nena	Yes, and you’re engaged to Kikay too.
Tony	But that was a year ago.
Nena	Oh, you wolf!
Tony	Nena, Nena you know I love only you!
Nena	How could you have the nerve to propose to me when you were still engaged to Kikay!
Tony	I wish I had never told you that. This is what I get for being honest.
Nena	Honest! You call yourself honest! Getting me to fall in love with you when you still belonged to Kikay!
Tony	I... I thought I didn’t belong to her anymore. It was only a secret engagement anyway.
Nena	Secret!
Tony	I proposed to her just before she left for America...
Nena	O...?
Tony	And she said we must keep our engagement a secret until she come back. But when she had been there a couple of months she stopped answering my letters...
Nena	Good...!
Tony	So I considered my self a freeman again.
Nena	That’s why you proposed to me?
Tony	No!... I mean... Yes.
Nena	And then asked me to keep our engagement a secret also!
Tony	Because right afterwards, I found out that Kikay was coming back.
Nena	Well, I’m tired of being secretly engaged to you; what fun is it being engaged if you cannot ... kuan ... tell everybody.
Tony	Just give me a chance to talk to Kikay and explain everything to her. Then you and I will announce our engagement.
Nena	Well, you’d better hurry. I’m getting impatient.
Tony	The trouble is, how can I talk to Kikay now?
Nena	Why not?
Tony	Well, you are here... and Totoy is here. You don’t expect me to talk about it infront of everybody, do you?
Nena	You want me and Totoy to leave?
Tony	No, just give me a chance to be alone with Kikay for a moment.
Nena	Okay, I’ll take care of Totoy.
Tony	That’s good.
Nena	You just leave it to me. But settle this now and forever ha? (Totoy enters with glasses on a tray)
Totoy	Puto kayo diyan... Bili na kayo ng puto...
	(Mrs. Mendoza enters)
Mrs. M	Drink you orange juice and I’ll see if Kikay is ready. Listen, everybody... here comes Kikay... But remember she prefers to be called Fran-Ces-ca!
	(Kikay Appears, garved in a trailing gown trimmed with fur at the neck and hemline. From one hand she dangles a large silk handkerchief which she keeps waving about as she walks and talks. In the other hand she carries a cigarette. Kikay’s manner and appearance are... to use a hollywood expression – “Chi-chi like mad.”)
Kikay	(Having paused a long moment in the doorway, hands uplifted in surprise and delight.) Oh, hello, hello... you darling, darling people! (She glides into the room. Everybody is too astonished to move.) Nena, My dear, but how cute you’ve become! (Kisses Nena) And Tony, dear boy, how are you... (gives her hand to Tony) And Totoy, why you look like a Tondo superproduction Totoy, how does one say in Tagalog—In Technicolor! Halika dito. But sit down everybody... Do sit down and let me look at you!
	Oh, Mumsy, Mumsy!
Mrs. M	Oy, what’s the matter now?
Kikay	But how many times must I tell you, Mumsy dearest, never, never to serve fruit juice in water glasses!
Mrs. M	Tsk, tsk, never mind. Water glasses or beverage glasses all the same, pareho!
Kikay	Oh my poor li’l mumsy... She is so clumsy, no? But never mind, Dearest, don’t break your heart about it. Here, sit down.
Mrs. M	No, It’s time to go to market, aba!
Kikay	Oh really mumsy, don’t forget my celery. (to visitors) I can’t live without celery!
Mrs. M	Well, if you people excuse me... Tony, remember me to your mother, hane, and let me know the pozo negro you are building in Pampanga is finished.
Tony	Bridge, Aling Atang, In Bulacan.
Mrs. M	Ay, bredge nga naman! Oo, in Bulacan.
Kikay	And remember, Mumsy, oy... a little bloom on the lips, a little bloom on the cheeks.
Mrs. M	What, Kikay?
Kikay	Again Mumsy?
Mrs. M	Eh, Fran-Ces-Ca do I have to paint myself again?
Kikay	(Laughing) But how dreadfully she puts it! Oh, Mumsy, Mumsy ... What am I going to do with you?
Mrs. M	(As she exits) I don’t know to you! You are the one... (Exit)
Kikay	(Still laughing) Poor Mumsy, she’s quite a problem (Waving her cigarette) Oh, does anybody have a light?
Totoy	Here, I’ve got a lighter.
Kikay	Merci, Totoy.
Totoy	Ha?
Kikay	I said Merci. That means Thank you... in French.
Totoy	Merci.
Nena	Oh, Tell us about New York, Kikay.
Kikay	(fervently) Ah New York, New York.
Tony	How long did you stay there?
Kikay	(In a trance) 10 months, 4 days, 7 hours and 21 minutes!
Totoy	Bilang na bilang, ano?
Kikay	(With emotion checking her voice) Yes, I feel as if I were still there, as though I had never left it, as though I had lived there all my life. But I look around me... ( looks at guest )... and I realize that no, I’m not there... I’m not in New York ... I’m right here in Tondo...
Totoy	Anong Tan-Doe?
Nena	Tondo, buang!
Kikay	I’m home, they tell me. But this cannot be home, because my heart aches with homesickness. I feel like an exile. My spirit aches for its true home across the sea. Ah, New York, New York. My own dear New York. Listen! It’s springtime there now. Oh, we have a funny custom. When spring comes around each year, we new Yorkers, we make a sort of pilgrimage to an old tree growing down the Battery. Oh! We New Yorkers call it “Our Tree” – In a way, that tree is our own symbol for New York. (She is silent for a moment. Her visitors glance uneasily at each other. Kikay laughs and makes an apologetic gesture.) But please forgive me! Here I am going sentimental and just mooning away over things you have no idea about. No, you can’t understand this emotion I feel for our own dear New York...
Nena	Oh, but I do understand perfectly. I feel that way too, about our tree.
Kikay	(Blankly) What tree?
Nena	Our mango tree, Kikay. Have you forgotten about it? Why you and I used to go climbing up there everyday and gorging ourselves on green mangoes. How our stomachs ached afterwards. And then these bad boys would come and start shaking the branches until we fell down. (laughs)
Totoy	(laughing) Aling Atang once caught me climbing that tree and she grabbed my pants... and off they came!
Tony	(Laughing) I was up there in that tree at that time and I laughed so hard I fell down!
Nena	(laughing) Yes, and Aling Atang chased you all around the yard with her broom, and when she caught you... bang! She got you on the head with the broom and how you screamed!
Totoy	But me, I could not come down the tree at all because I did not have my pants on! (laugh)
Nena	And Kikay and Me ... we were rolling on the ground, simply hysterical with laughter. And Totoy, you kept shouting: “Ang salawal ko! Ang salawal ko!”
	(They are all shaking with laughter except Kikay who is staring blankly at all this.)
Kikay	But wait a minute, wait a minute... what is this tree you’re talking about?
Nena	Our mango tree, Kikay. The mango tree there in the backyard.
Kikay	(flatly) Oh, that tree.
Tony	What’s the matter Kikay, don’t you feel the same emotion for that tree as you do for the one in New York?
Kikay	(Tartly) Of Course Not!
Tony	Why not?
Kikay	They... they’re completely different! I don’t feel any emotion for this silly old mango tree... It doesn’t awaken any emotion for me at all!
Nena	Well, it does for me. And such happy, happy memories. I really must run out to the backyard to say hello to it. (Immitating Kikay’s tone and manner) You know, Kikay, over here in Tondo, we have a funny custom. We make a sort of pilgrimage to a silly old mango tree growing in the backyard. And for us, here in Tondo, that tree is our tree. In a way, It is a symbol...
Kikay	Don’t be silly, Nena.
Totoy	Anong sili?
Kikay	(In amused despair) Oh, you people can’t understand at all.
Tony	Probably, we’ve never been to New York.
Kikay	(Earnestly) Exactly! Our tree in New York, doesn’t stand for Kidstuff and childhood foolishness! It stands for a vivacious, more streamlined, a more daring way of life! In short, it stand for higher and finer things! Oh, how I miss the Manhattan skyline, the Coney Island in summer. The Madison Square Garden, the Bronx Zoo, The fifth avenue and for all the darling dens in Greenwich village. Oh, its impossible for you to see.
Tony	I still prefer a tree that grows in Tondo.
Totoy	And I second the motion.
Nena	So do I.
Kikay	(Tolerantly) Oh you funny, funny children.
Nena	(Kikay Manner) Well, I really must go and say hello to our tree. You don’t mind Kikay, do you?
Kikay	Of course not, child. Do go.
Nena	Totoy, will you come with me?
Totoy	To the ends of the earth!
Nena	(Kikay manner) No, darling ... just to our sear little backyard.
Totoy	(Acting up too) Oh, the backyards of Tondo, the barung-barong of Maypaho, the street of Sibukong ... !
Nena	Listen, idiot, are you coming with me or not?
Totoy	Anywhere, dream girl!
	(Exit Nena and Totoy)
Kikay	Well! Apparently, our Totoy still has a... terrific crush on Nena. (pause) Do wake up Tony... what are you looking so miserable about?
Tony	(Gathering courage) Kikay ... I don’t know how to begin...
Kikay	Just call me Fran-Ces-Ca... that’s good beginning.
Tony	There is something I must tell you… something very important.
Kikay	Oh, Tony, can’t we just forget all about it?
Tony	Forget??
Kikay	That’s the New York way, Tony. Forget, nothing must ever too serious; nothing must drag on too long. Tonight, give all your heart, tomorrow, forget. And when you meet again, smile, shake hands… just good sports..
Tony	What are you talking about?
Kikay	Tony, I was only a child at that time.
Tony	When?
Kikay	When you and I got engaged. I’ve changed so much since then, Tony.
Tony	That was only a year ago.
Kikay	To me, it seems a century. So much had happened to me. More can happen to you in just one year in New York .
Tony	Listen, I don’t want to talk about New York … I want to talk about our engagement.
Kikay	And that’s what we cannot do Tony. Not anymore.
Tony	Why not?
Kikay	Tony, you got engaged to a girl named Kikay. Well, that girl doesn’t exist anymore. She's dead. The person you see before you is Francesca. Don’t you see, Tony, I’m a stranger to you. I hate to hurt you, but surely you see that there can be no more talk of an engagement between us. And as for marriage...(laughs) .... It would be a stark miscegenation. Imagine, a New Yorker, marrying a Tondo Boy!!! It's so insane!!
Tony	(Blazing) Now wait a minute...
Kikay	(Very Tolerantly) I’m sorry if I’ve hurt you Tony. But I wanted you to realize how ridiculous it could be to think that I could still be engaged to you.
Tony	I’m not going to stand here and be insulted!
Kikay	Hush, tony, Hush! Don’t shout! Don’t lose your temper... it’s so uncivilized. People in New York don’t lose their temper. Not people of the Haute made anyway.
Tony	What do you want me to do... smile and say thank you for insulting me?
Kikay	Yes, Tony, Be a Sport! Let’s smile and shake hands and just be friends. Be brave Tony... forget, the New york Way. Find another girl... any girl you’ll find find... someone more proper for you. More like a loser.
Tony	If you weren’t a woman I’d...I’d...!
	(Totoy and nena Appear)
Totoy	Hold it, tony... You must never, never hit a woman!
Nena	What’s all this? Ano ba to?
Kikay	Nothing, nothing at all.
Totoy	What were you two quarelling about?
Kikay	We were not quarelling. Tony and I just decided to be good friends and nothing more.
Nena	Tony, is this true?
Tony	(shouting) Yes!
Nena	Oh good! Now we can tell them.
Kikay	Tell us what?
Totoy	What’s going on here anyway?
Nena	Tony and I are engaged.
Kikay and Totoy	Engaged?
Nena	Yes, we’ve been secretly engaged for a month.
Kikay	A month! (fiercely to Tony) why you... you!
Tony	I did try to tell you Kikay... I was trying to tell you...
Kikay	You... You... you double-crosses! Two timer loser!
Nena	Aba, careful there... your speaking to my fiance...
Kikay	He’s not your fiance!
Nena	Oh, no?... why not?
Kikay	Because he was still engaged to me when he got engaged to you!
Nena	Well, he's not engaged to you anymore, you just said it yourself.
Kikay	Ah, but I didn’t know about all this..
Tony	Now remember, Kikay… it's so uncivilized to lose one’s temper, People in New York don’t lose their temper.
Kikay	I’ve never felt so humiliated in all my life!! You beast, I’ll teach you!!
Nena	I told you to leave him alone! He’s my fiance!
Kikay	And I tell you he's not!! He's engaged to me until I release him… and I haven’t release him yet.
Nena	You ought to be ashamed of yourself... laos ka na!
Kikay	You ought to be ashamed of yourself... you’re... you... you steal my boyfriend!
Nena	What? What did you say!!??
Tony	Totoy, pull them apart!
Kikay	(to Totoy) You keep out of this or I’ll knock your head off!
Totoy	Naku lumabas din ang pagka Tondo!
Nena	Walanghiya ka. Kapal mukha!
Kikay	Walanghiya pala!
NEna	Oh, you will ha? (pause) Here, take that! (slap)
Kikay	(Screams and faints)
Tony	(furious) How dare you hit her!
Nena	And why not? She hit me first!
Tony	Look what you’ve done to her!
Nena	Are you trying to defend her? You never defended me!
Tony	Shut up!
Nena	Oh, I hate you, I hate you!! (sobs)
Tony	Shut up! Kung hindi ay babasagin ko yang mukha mo!
Totoy	Pare, don’t talk to Nena that way.
Tony	You keep out of this!
Nena	He’s more of a gentleman than you are, he defends me!
Totoy	(To tony) Take your hands off her!
Tony	I told you to keep out of this!
Totoy	(spanks Tony on the face sends Tony sprawling. Meanwhile, Kikay woke up.)
Nena	Oh, Totoy, you hit him for me. You saved my life. You’re my hero!
Kikay	Totoy, how dare you hit him! (rushed to Tony) Tony... Tony.. Open your eyes! (Tony opens mouth) No, no, no, not your mouth, your eyes!
Tony	Where am I?
Nena	Totoy, take me away from here.
Totoy	Are you still engaged to him?
Nena	I hate him! I never want to see him again in my life!
Totoy	Good! Come on, let’s go!
Tony	Hey!
Nena	Don’t you speak to me, you salawahan!
Tony	I wasn’t talking to you!
Totoy	Don’t speak to me either. You have insulted the woman I love.
Nena	Oh, Totoy... why... you never tell me.
Totoy	(shyly) Well... now you know how, and I’m telling you. Ano, pwede ba tayo?
Nena	Basta ikaw Totoy, Vibs lang tayo.
Tony	Congratulations!
Nena and totoy	Tse!
	(Exit Nena and Totoy)
Tony	(to Kikay) Now, what you need is a good spanking.
Kikay	Don’t you come near to me, you... you canto boy!
Tony	Don’t worry, I wouldn’t touch you with a 10 foot pole.
Kikay	And I wouldn’t touch you with a 20 foot pole.
Tony	Just one year in New York and you forget all your friends.
Kikay	Just one year that I’m in New York … and what did you do? But when we got engaged, you swore to be true, you promised to wait for me. And I believe you!! (cry) Oh, you’re a fickle, fickle..
Tony	What are you crying about? Be brave... forget... that’s the New York way.
Kikay	Oh, Tony, Please... please! Salawahan! Taksil! Mandedenggoy ka!
Tony	Besides, we don’t speak the same language. Marriage between would be a stark misce... misce...
Kikay	Miscegenation.
Tony	Iyan na nga, imagine a New Yorker, marrying a Tondo boy!
Kikay	Oh, Tony, I’ve been such a fool. I’m so sorry Tony.
Tony	Well, I’m not. I’m glad to found out what kind of person you are!
Kikay	Oh, Tony you’re wrong...wrong...! I’m not that kind of person at all.
Tony	Oh, person is just a relative term, huh?
Kikay	Yes, Tony... that francesca saying all those silly things. But Francesca exists no more. Tony, no more. The girl standing before you is kikay.
Tony	In that silly dress?
Kikay	Oh, this? this is just a gift-wrapping. But deep down inside me I’m just a Tondo girl inlove with a Tondo boy.
Tony	Oh...?
Kikay	It’s true Tony. I’m kikay... remember me? I’ve come back.
Tony	If, I remember, I was engaged to girl named Kikay.
Kikay	And yes, you’re still engaged to her, Tony.
Tony	Welcome home, darling.
	(Offstage, Mrs. Mendoza is heard calling “Francesca, Francesca” Tony and Kikay then burst into laughter.)
Mrs. M	(Enter) Francesca... Oh Tony, you’re still here pala.
Tony	Opo Aling Atang
Mrs. M	Francesca, I’m sorry I couldn’t find the celery you wanted.
Kikay	Oh, never mind Inay. Just give me the Old good Kangkong and some talbos ng Kamote and I’ll be happy.
Mrs. M	But you said you can’t live without celery, hija?
Tony	That was Francesca, Aling atang. Now, we’ve changed the program. The girl infront of you is not Francesca.
Mrs. M	Eh Who? Eh who?
Tony	It is Kikay.
Mrs. M	But Kikay is Francesca. (Looks at her)
Kikay	I’m not Francesca, Inay, I’m Kikay.
Mrs. M	Ay salamat. Eh di I can play pangguigue again... and I can call you Kikay once more.
Kikay	Yes, Inay.
Mrs. M	No more, United Stitch ?
Kikay	No more, Inay.
Mrs. M	(Goes to Francesca) And I can take off this girdle alreidi?
Kikay	Yes, Of course (laughs).
Mrs. M	Ayos! So you can ask your mother Tony to come right away to Tondo as soon as you finish the cemetery you are building in Batangas.
Kikay	What cemetery Inay?
Mrs. M	The one that Tony is building in Zamboanga.
Tony	It’s not a cemetery Aling Atang. It’s a bridge.
Mrs. M	In Bulacan, oh kita mo yan. And it has no name yet, ano Tony. Why don’t you call it Francesca? Just for old time sake. (exit laughing) Francesca!
Kikay	Ang inay naman!
	Music: Let the Love Begin
Kikay	That music, Tony. I remember the first nightclub I went to in New York... they were playing that peace and I dreamed...
Tony	Kikay, pag sinabi mong New york, babatukan kita...
Kikay	I dreamt of you. I dreamed we were dancing on and on... And I told you, I love you.
Tony	Sweetheart, I love you too.
	Music: Let The Love Begin Fades and Hot N’ Cold was played so loud
Mrs. M	(Enters Angry and Bursting) Aling Isiiiing! Talaga bang pinepeste niyo ako at niyang Hot N’ Cold na ‘yan! Tugtugin niyo ulit yan at babasagin ko ang plaka niyo! Ang ingay niyo talaga! Katandang tao iyan ang pinakikinggan! (Tony and Kikay Laughing)
Voice	Kayo ang tumigil diyan! Basagin niyo plato namin at babasagin ko mukha ninyo!
	Lights Off